The Sunburned Chapters | Part 1

Oh, Tulum.

We love her some days and hate her on others. Usually Mondays, when there’s only one place to go.

She’s the kind of place you crawl into when you need to disappear for a while. To bubble-wrap your soul and recuperate. She brings you friendship, moonlit dancing, yoga on the beach, and if you’re lucky, she brings you back to yourself. But she’s also where you get lost. Where the world outside of La Veleta fades away, where you forget the corporate ladder; where sometimes, you even forget who you are.

I hopped off the boat at the destabilizing, ripe age of 18, from Vancouver, Canada. Armed with delusion and teenage righteousness, I somehow made it work. And I’ve been here ever since.

Now I’m 30, held up by a community of people who’ve clung together through it all: heartbreaks, failed brands, last-minute guest lists, and roads lined with potholes the size of a Super Chedraui parking lot. You name it.

2017 was the last great year of Tulum for those of us who burrowed into the sand before COVID. Now, she’s crawling with too many DJs, white-girl shamans, and a heavy dose of spiritual narcissism dressed in “love and light.” Condos sit empty, with rent prices climbing to New York skyscraper levels.

Back then, the scene was a beer at Curandero and Waye until 7 a.m., dancing on Saturdays, and living it up on Boca Paila before it got bougie. Now it’s crypto bros, $15 smoothies, and co-working hubs full of people trying not to confront their reality.

There are still whispers of the old Tulum if you know where to look: Guarida, Batey, La Pizzine, Asian Bodega, Neek at Laguna Nopalitos. These places offer a flicker of the golden age. But the potholes keep getting deeper, the prices higher, and the crowds, more mainstream.

If you thought I’d have the answer, I don’t. I’m just a writer in the jungle, figuring it out. I won’t be around when Tulum takes her last breath. But when she does, I’ll say goodbye with a heart full of gratitude for this decade in the sun.

What’s Tulum to you now? What keeps you holding on?
I still see her in the way the light filters through the palm trees. And I know she’ll keep shining for the next group of humans who inherit her.

Stay tuned for Part 2.

Toxic Positivity: Our Secret Internal Enemy

My Instagram feed has been blowing up recently with all kinds of spiritual and mental health posts, which honestly has been a blessing because 2020 is the year of internal struggle and devastating experiences.

So, what the fuck is “toxic positivity”? Well my dear weirdos, let me fill you in on this mysterious yet common state of mind. Picture this: that ridiculous cartoon gif of the happy dog drinking a beverage while in a chair as his room is burning in flames; his carefree, blunt expression and a caption that reads “this is fine”. Toxic positivity is defined in my crass terms as sitting in your pile of shit, but ignoring said-shit and pretending that despite all your physical, emotional, and spiritual pain- that you are A-OKAY and should just “stay positive”. This hit’s home because frankly, I myself have adopted this view on many occasions as well as most of the people in my life (sorry guys).

Most people who know me well, know that my glass is always half full, and I owe everyone an apology for the shit advice I’ve given that has absolutely stemmed from my deranged toxic positivity. There is a deeper note that needs to be touched on here, though. I think we’ve subconsciously incorporated this into our psyche out of the trauma we’ve dealt with over the years and especially this year too. In part, it’s not our fault for being emotionally delicate creatures. Nature seemed to have designed us to be fragile in a plethora of ways, which is at odds with the reality of life and of our world. Our sensory perception of life itself is drastically reduced due to how our brains function. From radiowaves to telekinses (humor me, please), we block a lot of information on a conscious level. What’s that study, that we’re only utilizing 2% of our brain power? Don’t quote me on that, but I think we’ve all heard about this. I’m also not a scientist, but a Manic Writer. My point being is that we’ve literally been built on a physical level to only take what we “need”. So naturally with our consciousness, we’ve adopted mechanisms to deal with the overload of life. Some of which, don’t actually make our lives easier to handle. They can be- ahem, TOXIC.

If you’ve read this to find some inkling as to how to change this perspective, I’m sorry. I don’t have the answer, and I think the answers people share are just their own perception of how to recalibrate oneself to see reality for what it is. Everyone is on their own journey. Sometimes listening to ourselves is a bad idea, sometimes it’s good. Either way, just stay mindful. Keep yourself open to learning and adapting. Life is tumultuous, shitty and beautiful all at once.

Stay weird, stay manic!

- The Manic Blogger

Surviving A Mental Quarantine

It's an understatement to say each of us is suffering our own inner versions of Dante's Inferno in this unprecedented time. The Nine Circles of hell are the four walls and the roof constructed in our minds wherein all our thoughts that simmer with faint noticeability during the more "normal" moments in our lives are now boiling beyond control. Are those 15-minute meditation sessions really helping, or those half-assed 27-minute online yoga classes? Is cracking open a beer at 11:15 am on another dreary Wednesday helping? Maybe, but I doubt to the extent you're expecting or needing.

The reality is that now everyone and their grandma (literally) are surfing the virtual world, shouting opinions, sharing correct AND incorrect information. Everyone is reaching higher and higher to find mental clarity while we have our asses glued to the same fucking chair, with the same fucking company or completely alone. We're all trying to stay sane and keep our neck above the water, and it's such a heavy journey that we've been forced to undertake. People who suffer from mild to severe mental illnesses, people who haven't faced the fact that they can't be alone in their own minds with their own thoughts for an extended period of time. Our own identity and sense of self has been called into question now that we are trapped. Our morals, our goals and the trajectory of our individual paths now meet at a crossroads where we're forced to sit with ourselves to balance and address our patterns and wounds. It's terrifying and inescapable. And, it's a wonderful reminder that in each of us lies a snippet of cosmic power to overcome these mental blocks in our path.

I don't think anyone will emerge a completely whole and pure human being when the dust finally settles. I don't think anyone will reach the peak with all of their loose ends tied neatly into bows. But I've always believed that in the face of pain and adversity, we are all forces to be reckoned with. While we're all our own worst enemy, we are also our own saviors. The evolution of our soul is right now one of the focal points of our lives, and I believe we are all feeling this with an acute awareness. Fluctuating between a vivid state of positivity in one moment and the next, knocked down into a pit of defeat and helplessness. Whether you're stuck in a stasis on one end of the spectrum or the other, no doubt that your sway between the two has been sporadic and nauseating. It's easy to digress back to just a few months ago when our normal routines and thought patterns remained in a familiar flow or were slightly predictable. I believe though that deep down, everything that has been irking us and creating turmoil in the recent months has always been inside of us. Yet we were too busy with the rest of life to sit with it and look down the darker corners of ourselves that we've ignored or never made time for. All of our elephants in the room now stomp their feet and heckle violently for attention- and we are beneath them all, being trampled into an existential death.

So, here we are. Here we stand in the eye of the storm that is our trauma and bullshit. Some debris in our storms are inescapable and may spin around us and wreak havoc for the rest of our life, and that's just how some things are. Yet there is much we can address; there is much we can quietly or loudly let go of. Be it toxic people or bad habits or an incessant way of thinking that doesn't help us on our path to becoming the person we hope to be.

I say, let's keep trying. Let us hold space for ourselves and one another, in however way we can. continue our crusade of living fully and wholly accepting ourselves and never stop reaching for the sky with the hungriest and undying urge to evolve. I leave you all with an excerpt from a poem near and dear to my heart to help you along the way.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - Max Ehrman, Desiderata.

Image by https://ello.co/isabellabersellini

Co-Lab: The Architecture of Community

A blog for Tulum Portal about a local architect and design company that focuses on designing and creating eco-friendly homes and structures with an emphasis on preserving the natural beauty of the abundant flora and fauna in Tulum, Mexico.

https://tulumportal.com/2019/05/24/co-lab-the-architecture-of-community/

Matcha Mama: A Vegan Love Story

An article for Tulum Portal about a small local business that offers healthy and fresh breakfast alternatives, made form natural, locally sourced products.

https://tulumportal.com/2019/06/03/matcha-mama-a-vegan-love-story/

HAVEN

An article for Tulum Portal about a local brand that is creating an eco-housing space for likeminded individuals in Tulum’s paradise.

https://tulumportal.com/2019/06/19/haven/