It's an understatement to say each of us is suffering our own inner versions of Dante's Inferno in this unprecedented time. The Nine Circles of hell are the four walls and the roof constructed in our minds wherein all our thoughts that simmer with faint noticeability during the more "normal" moments in our lives are now boiling beyond control. Are those 15-minute meditation sessions really helping, or those half-assed 27-minute online yoga classes? Is cracking open a beer at 11:15 am on another dreary Wednesday helping? Maybe, but I doubt to the extent you're expecting or needing.
The reality is that now everyone and their grandma (literally) are surfing the virtual world, shouting opinions, sharing correct AND incorrect information. Everyone is reaching higher and higher to find mental clarity while we have our asses glued to the same fucking chair, with the same fucking company or completely alone. We're all trying to stay sane and keep our neck above the water, and it's such a heavy journey that we've been forced to undertake. People who suffer from mild to severe mental illnesses, people who haven't faced the fact that they can't be alone in their own minds with their own thoughts for an extended period of time. Our own identity and sense of self has been called into question now that we are trapped. Our morals, our goals and the trajectory of our individual paths now meet at a crossroads where we're forced to sit with ourselves to balance and address our patterns and wounds. It's terrifying and inescapable. And, it's a wonderful reminder that in each of us lies a snippet of cosmic power to overcome these mental blocks in our path.
I don't think anyone will emerge a completely whole and pure human being when the dust finally settles. I don't think anyone will reach the peak with all of their loose ends tied neatly into bows. But I've always believed that in the face of pain and adversity, we are all forces to be reckoned with. While we're all our own worst enemy, we are also our own saviors. The evolution of our soul is right now one of the focal points of our lives, and I believe we are all feeling this with an acute awareness. Fluctuating between a vivid state of positivity in one moment and the next, knocked down into a pit of defeat and helplessness. Whether you're stuck in a stasis on one end of the spectrum or the other, no doubt that your sway between the two has been sporadic and nauseating. It's easy to digress back to just a few months ago when our normal routines and thought patterns remained in a familiar flow or were slightly predictable. I believe though that deep down, everything that has been irking us and creating turmoil in the recent months has always been inside of us. Yet we were too busy with the rest of life to sit with it and look down the darker corners of ourselves that we've ignored or never made time for. All of our elephants in the room now stomp their feet and heckle violently for attention- and we are beneath them all, being trampled into an existential death.
So, here we are. Here we stand in the eye of the storm that is our trauma and bullshit. Some debris in our storms are inescapable and may spin around us and wreak havoc for the rest of our life, and that's just how some things are. Yet there is much we can address; there is much we can quietly or loudly let go of. Be it toxic people or bad habits or an incessant way of thinking that doesn't help us on our path to becoming the person we hope to be.
I say, let's keep trying. Let us hold space for ourselves and one another, in however way we can. continue our crusade of living fully and wholly accepting ourselves and never stop reaching for the sky with the hungriest and undying urge to evolve. I leave you all with an excerpt from a poem near and dear to my heart to help you along the way.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - Max Ehrman, Desiderata.
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